You’ve tried refried beans, now try slightly altered then reprinted stories.

It was published in 6 January 2024 by Horror Sleaze Trash.

You can read ‘Boss Burrito, Naked Like My Yearning’ at Horror Sleaze Trash here.

To see more of my writing, please check my portfolio page.

The post Published: ‘Boss Burrito, Naked Like My Yearning’ at Horror Sleaze Trash appeared first on Salty Turnip.

It’s funny how one thing can lead to another.

This whole site has been built around the 100 rejection project, which I failed (as well) but had a nice time trying. The short version is that I put it into a book. Why? Because the internet doesn’t exist and therefore nothing on it does either. By putting it all into a book, I scraped these scattered hallucinations into a pile big enough to hold in your hands. I also included the ones that were previous paywalled.

It’s self-published, which might be cheating, but hopefully I didn’t hurt anyone other than myself in the process.

Maybe I’ll come back to this in time and write a little more, but basically it’s just nice to see everything in one place as a record of the fact that it actually happened.

If you’re keen, you can buy it here.

The post Best of a Bad Lot appeared first on Salty Turnip.

This isn’t what I wanted to write about, by the way. What I wanted to write about is how there is an inherently external part to writing, and how as writers our instinct is to turn inward instead of outward (maybe that’s just me). This happened instead. Maybe next time.

I have been quiet here for quite a while. That’s because I haven’t been writing, and therefore I have nothing to write about.

In June I quit my job of just over two-and-a-half years. It had been making me unhappy for a long time and I decided it was time to do things on my own terms. I’ve gone back to freelancing, and it’s good. I’ve tried to organise myself, and I’ve dusted off the longer piece of work that has been on mothballs and I’m finding myself again.

While I haven’t been writing, I have been, in my own way, trying to make other things happen. I’m involved with my local writing community and I try to be around to see what people need. I’m involved with Writers Victoria as well as IPEd (the editing body here in Australia and New Zealand) because #professional, but also because it’s important.

On finding ourselves as confident professionals

I’m currently in the process of working out where I am in the world of experience and practise. You would think that with the internet around it would be easy, but I think it might be harder.

What online culture, particularly post-2005, has taught me is that most of us don’t have enough attention to be able to push through all the bullshit. It’s much easier to find other people who have managed to do it and to try to hang on to what they have to say, try and make it work for you. They’ve had more time to think about it so they must be right, right?

But, more and more, I’m seeing people’s lives and thought patterns disrupted and co-opted into these other ways of thinking, because people don’t trust themselves enough. They’ll find four people to follow and watch rather than working on their own way of doing it. Worse than that, they look at the finished product (in the form of an influencer) and feel like that’s an unattainable goal.

So they just stop trying.

Which is stupid, because what they don’t realise is that what they see of this other person isn’t everything that they’re doing. They’re doing tons of other stuff in the background as well, things that they could be doing to get ahead. But because the person presents as a finished idea, that doesn’t need improvement, no one thinks about the work they do in the background. They don’t see that the illusion of perfection is created by consistent, persistent practice. And they let it get them down.

They let it stop them from trying.

Why it’s okay to take your time

At work, I thought I felt bad because I spent time trying to act like other people act instead of acting like a better version of me. Not that the work I did was bad or boring, but because I realised that there there is a way for me to live and interact with the world that involves me building skills that I care about. Not learning different ways to sell things.

And those guys are the same, right? Marketers. They sell you the promise of being able to succeed like they’ve done, but really they’re just hijacking your brain with their message. How many of those people really care if you succeed? How many of them are just trying to sell their services to you?

The irony of me posting all of this as a blog post is not lost, by the way.

But that’s not really why I feel bad. I feel bad because I stopped the background work.

I am no stranger to writing about not writing. I did that for all of 2021. But when I stop writing anything for myself at all, even just fluff… there’s a problem.

Whenever anyone locally tries to get something going, I tell them they need two things: someone else to turn up with them, and two years. People want to know that it’s going to be there when they decide to give it go, and they want to know that it won’t just be you and them sat in a room awkwardly.

My argument there would be that if you can’t commit to the idea of two years, then there’s no way you’ll just get there. And maybe that’s not right. My experience is that time passes whether you’re using it well or not, so you might as well try some things and you might as well commit to the ones you care about.

There have been a few times in my life where I have seen books from my favourite authors just appear in the stores. I grabbed them with both hands and I tore through them and then put them on the shelf (yes, even Lestat Goes to the Moon and the depressing Terry Pratchett book). Those things only existed because somewhere else on planet Earth, those authors were writing. While I was sleeping in they were writing. While I was applying for jobs I didn’t really want and didn’t get anyway, they were writing. When I was at the pub trying to forget how unhappy I was, they were writing. And there is nothing, really, that stopped me from writing then as well. Just the fact that I didn’t. And then there is the fact that it’s July already and I’ve barely written anything.

I feel bad that I stopped making time for it.

Since leaving my job in early June this year, I have:

• Sorted out my professional level membership with IPEd
• Set up a professional website for my freelance writing and editing work
• Been involved with a regional networking event for Writers Victoria. Hopefully there will be more!
• Written 13k words on my novel
• Put together a clean 7k word writing sample to be rejected by Varuna
• Organised a group of four writers (including me) to commit to and help each other write a novel over the next year
• Written this blog post.

It’s all coming back to me now.

The post On accidental six-month hibernations appeared first on Salty Turnip.

Some emails actually are life or death.

It was published in the 22 April 2022 by Andromeda Spaceways Magazine.

Unfortunately you can’t read it online but you can purchase Issue 86 of Andromeda Spaceways Magazine here.

To see more of my writing, please check my portfolio page.

The post Published: ‘One-Way Ticket’ in Andromeda Spaceways Magazine appeared first on Salty Turnip.

You might have heard of this little project of mine.

It was published in the March 2022 issue of The Victorian Writer.

Unfortunately you can’t read it online but you can purchase The Victorian Writer here.

To see more of my writing, please check my portfolio page.

The post Published: ‘I failed publicly so you don’t have to’ in The Victorian Writer appeared first on Salty Turnip.

So it’s February and I’m sure that you’re all on the edge of your seats wondering how 2021 went.

You know how it went.

I didn’t reach 100 rejections. I didn’t submit 100 things to be rejected.  Overall I submitted 40 pieces, and of those ten were accepted.

That’s actually a pretty good rate.

When I started out the year, I was focusing on places that had quick turnaround times, because I didn’t want to have to wait forever. I thought that it would be better to send something around to as many places as possible in the shortest time frame. Turns out there are a few issues with that.

Lesson one: Don’t be in a rush, you only sell yourself short

One, I wasn’t looking for the best fit for the piece. I was assuming that things would be bounced around a bit and I wanted quick rejections (got to get those numbers up). Obviously this was stupid. One, it was trying to game my own goals, which is stupid. Worse though, it meant I didn’t have enough faith in some of my writing. Why would I submit something for quick rejection? Did I know it was a bad fit? If so, I just waste the time of two people.
Worse than that, there are no guarantees. Sometimes you’ll send something off expecting a quick rejection (let’s say under a week) and then reading/processing will take much longer than that. In that time, you could have sent it somewhere you actually cared about or wanted it publishing.

Lesson two: Sometimes waiting is a good thing

Something else to consider is that things can take a long time to come back if they’re held, or if they make it to the final round of editorial approval. I didn’t have this problem when I was submitting to publications that didn’t pay submitters. This is an easier process: either it fits with what they’re doing or it doesn’t. But if they’re paying, then there are a lot of factors in play. There’s usually limited space in a publication, and they want to make sure they use their resources on the best work that they can get. While it’s annoying to wait, it’s also a sign that you’re getting close. While a 24 hour rejection is definitely quicker, it does eventually hurt you that your story, which it took you a while to write and edit, can be dismissed that quickly.

Lesson three: Don’t assume that anyone knows what they’re doing, at all, ever

Mostly importantly, I worked out that most people have no idea what they’re doing. Submissions get lost (even when they’re sent via web form), and people don’t respond. People are unprofessional. It’s the Wild West out there, so you have to believe in yourself enough to blame them for their screw ups, not hold yourself responsible. They didn’t ignore you because your writing was so bad they thought it was a joke, they didn’t respond to you because they’re disorganised people who couldn’t organise a two-book library .
To keep these shenanigans in check, set a limit (I found three or four months was best). After that time has elapsed, contact people who haven’t sent you a confirmation email to say they’ve received your piece. Don’t feel bad for contacting them – you’ve been patient enough. If they can’t confirm your submission, or if they don’t have some kind of submission platform, they probably aren’t worth your time. You’re the talent: why should you have to be the only professional one in the relationship as well?

Concluding thoughts

There were two reasons why I didn’t meet my goal this year. Mostly it’s because I didn’t get 100 rejections (duh) but that’s mostly it’s because I didn’t write enough, and the stuff I was submitting was accepted (I was going to say ‘too quickly’, but that’s not really a thing). While it was almost annoying to have things accepted that quickly (given that I was chasing the rejections), finding the kinds of places that want to publish what you’re writing is a great feeling. It means that I never need to feel like I’m writing something that won’t see the light of day, because now I have a few places to submit them to.

All in all it was a great experiment. I learned a lot about submitting, and myself as a writer, and some great things have come from it. One, it gave me a reason to keep on updating this blog (and it forced me to organise myself a little better to share the things that I’m doing). Two, I was asked to submit a piece of writing about it to a publication (which I’ll link here soon), which feels like a huge win.

I’m going to keep going for 2022. This year I’m going to focus on submissions rather than rejections though, and my goal is to sell a story. It’s not that I don’t think there’s no value in just submitting for the fun of it, but it’s a completely different proposition to try and get money for your work so that’s the focus for 2022. I’ll put some numbers around it and get cracking soon.

When I was finishing my masters I said that I wasn’t fussed about being a writer. I think that by that I meant that I was never going to try and make it my day job. I still think that’s right, but spending even a year learning to critically evaluate my own work has made me realise that there are still some easy improvements that I could make, which is a good feeling. I finally feel more focused, so instead of just grabbing at everything and trying to get better at everything all at once, now I’m focusing on the things I want to get better at. That confidence that there are weaker areas rather than the entire thing being a weak area is a really subtle shift, but I’m sure it’s progress.

I was talking to a friend last year and she reminded me that writing really only gets as much time as you make for it, so it’s important to give it the time it needs. While I don’t ever expect to make a living out of writing, it would be nice to feel more capable of taking on some of the things that I want to put together. It’s nice to have something to focus on, anyway.

Onwards and upwards, always!

The post 2021: A summary of rejection appeared first on Salty Turnip.

Ever get an itch you just can’t scratch?

It was published in the 20 August 2021 by Defenestration.

You can read ‘Glass Houses’ at Defenestration here.

To see more of my writing, please check my portfolio page.

The post Published: ‘Glass Houses’ at Defenestration appeared first on Salty Turnip.

Okay, so it’s been a while. I’d apologise but I’ve wasted enough time already.

For nearly a month nothing has changed on this website. Don’t let the post dates fool you, WordPress lets me cover up my mistakes. I’m still reading the same books and everything.

What’s the excuse this time?

I have been doing the boring ‘sell your time for money’ thing. While I now have more money, I haven’t written as much. No real surprises there, I guess.

Having realised how little writing I’ve done, however, I’m now trying to make sure I give these things the time they need. Tonight was the first time in a long time (yes, probably about a month, smartarse) that I decided to sit down and work on this.

The result? Two submissions and this blog post (I also subscribed to Lighten Up Online, which looks like a pretty fab poetry journal).

The conclusion? I need to dedicate time to getting stuff done.

Why does it take you nine months and everyone else five minutes to work it out?

If I knew that, I wouldn’t be in this situation.

Obviously there’s been the thought that I won’t get to 100 submissions for a while. I think as early as April I was telling myself that it was going to be more like 50 for the year, which is fine. However, I’m not giving up just yet. I’m still going to push though, and see just how close to 100 I can get.

With that said, at one point I had to address that I would need to do a submission every two days for the rest of the year to reach 100 submissions. In my mind, this seemed like something that could be done if I committed to it. I did commit, in my own way, then promptly submitted nothing for a month.

Oh well.

Other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?

Overall? Pretty good.

This has been a famine and feast project. Sometimes I’ll have nearly ten submissions out and nothing comes back, and then some months (like last month), I wind up with three things published. It’s weird, and it feels a bit like it takes the shine off of things when they all come through in a clump, but it’s still exciting to have done it. I’ll take proper stock at the end of the year, but for now I’m proud of what I’ve done rather than miserable about what I haven’t.

Give me the numbers

Okay fine.

Total submissions: 35

Rejections: 17

Acceptances: 8 (none outstanding)

Pending: 8 (1 is being held for consideration)

Lost/abandoned: 2

Prognosticate for me daddy

It’s halfway through September when I’m writing this, so I’m already thinking about what I’ll do next year.

The 100 rejection project was meant to do two things:

1. Make me less upset about being rejected
2. Get me writing more

It has definitely met the first goal. I’m pretty unbothered by rejection now (although maybe I was in the first place) and it has been interesting to go through the process so many times.

In terms of more writing, not so much. I mentioned before about half an hour of productivity lead to big outcomes. Which led me to the awful conclusion that I should have reached nine months ago: I won’t write unless I force myself to sit down and do it.

And I mean, duh. That’s not news to anyone. But that reminds me that maybe there’s some part of me that hasn’t been committed enough to this as a project (which is why it’s so far behind you stupid Turnip).

So why have this ridiculous goal hanging over my head all year without caring so much about it?

I’m very much just writing my feelings out here, but there’s a big gulf between writing something short and sharp that you have a 90% of getting submitted somewhere and writing something that you think might be a bit stickier and have some more staying power.

Quality or quantity?

When I was submitting to Farrago, I would write ~350 word satire pieces. That’s one every two or three months. What I’ve realised is that I could write one of those every day of the week and find somewhere to have most of them published. That seems insane to me. So the issue isn’t so much getting published as it is writing the things that you want to see published. Things with a little more substance take far, far more time.

Near misses are the worst

I submitted something and was rejected (that’s the goal!) but I was very frustrated because the notes on the rejection were things I had already worked out for myself while waiting for a response. To to see someone articulate what I had been feeling was pretty frustrating. What it showed me, however, is that I have a good sense of my own work, and what needs to be fixed in it, so that’s something. Doesn’t get the story out there, but you know.

Pushing through with imperfection

I don’t believe that perfection exists, which sounds like a cop-out but really it’s about accepting that nothing is an ideal process. So I have a story that has problems, and I know it has problems, and I’m not sure what to do with it. To me, fixing them involves a rewrite. The voice is wrong. The ending doesn’t work. It needs to become a much larger piece of writing.

But, I have this little project going and I kind of want to keep on putting it out there. What do I do if it gets accepted somewhere though? Am I happy with it going out into the world in its current form? I’m not sure. But losing the momentum to redrafting sucks as well, so it puts me in a bit of a bind, or something like that.

I’m not sure of what the answer is. I’m not even sure that there needs to be an answer either. Maybe it’s just that there are two things and it doesn’t matter which one you pick.

Basically I have a lot of thinking to do about writing and what exactly it is that I want from it. In some ways, this has been a confusing exercise.

So that’s me, I guess. Reflective, still shooting for rejection, and finally deciding to make more time to write. Hopefully this place will see a little more life in it towards the end of the year. 

Onwards and upwards!

The post 100 rejections: August update appeared first on Salty Turnip.

Ever been so hungry that things get weird?

It was published in 23 August 2021 by Misery Tourism.

You can read ‘Chicken Burrito, Naked Like My Yearning’ at Misery Tourism here.

To see more of my writing, please check my portfolio page.

The post Published: ‘Chicken Burrito, Naked Like My Yearning’ at Misery Tourism appeared first on Salty Turnip.

I’m not sure what this poem is either, but wipe your shoes before you leave.

It was published in the 13 August 2021 by Once Upon a Crocodile.

You can read ‘Crush’ at Once Upon a Crocodile here.

To see more of my writing, please check my portfolio page.

The post Published: ‘Crush’ at Once Upon a Crocodile appeared first on Salty Turnip.